Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
