I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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