New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
PANTIES FOUND
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