Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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