I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
