Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize