so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
