I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
