weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
