I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's just like the Real World with babies
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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