By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
