How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
