2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He's a Shit stain on my heart
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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