Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize