My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
