there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
