Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
are you so shy because you have an std?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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