i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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