I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
