I love black thongs
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
God, I missed his penis.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
