I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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