Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My penis needs a shock collar
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
