Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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