I am full of burrito and curiosity
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
