found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
