Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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