he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
