Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize