just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
