I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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