Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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