is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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