it was like his penis was on wheels.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
