can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I am naked and annoyed.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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