Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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