You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
