So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
