If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
