Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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