Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She said her name was "party"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
