So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
soo... how was my night?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
