I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Semen is not good for contacts.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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