I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think I died a long time ago.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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