No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
