They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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