please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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