Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am naked and annoyed.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
