You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
