Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
