therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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