i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
