these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
