Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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