Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
