69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize