Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
