it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
